How Pati Pa'Mi Began
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A few weeks back, I ran across a list I had journaled where I had jotted down things that I wanted to do if I had more free time on my hands. It wasn’t a bucket list or anything. Calm down. These were simple activities and hobbies that I was hoping to be able to do on weekends or whenever free time became available. Basically, activities that were not so easy to accomplish when working full time. A light bulb came on and I began to think that the perhaps now would be the perfect time to try and attempt some of the things I listed. Granted, not everything on my list I am able to do today because of my physical limitations, but there are a few that are still possible and those are the ones I’d like to focus on.

LIFE AT A SLOWER PACE

The last 20 years of my professional life I spent working in marketing, interacting with chefs and restaurant owners, kitchen designers promoting products for foodservice. I learned a lot during these years and enjoyed supervising photo and video sessions, attending foodservice trade shows, interviewing professionals, chasing chefs and cooks through the kitchen in order to conduct my interviews while they continued to cook.

In between projects, I longed for more time in my personal life to learn to improve my cooking and discover different recipes. My cooking before was always so hurried and my only mission was to just get food on the table as quickly and as easily as possible. When all else failed, take-out was my friend. But I couldn’t deny that I wished for more time to prepare meals for my family without feeling so rushed. 

My cousin Veronica, the Charlotte to my Carrie Bradshaw.   Photography by: Michael A. DeLeon

My cousin Veronica, the Charlotte to my Carrie Bradshaw. 

Photography by: Michael A. DeLeon

Another thing I listed was the desire to spend more time with family and to be able to practice and improve my spanish, writing and reading more books in my native language. I know all of these things seem so simple, but the truth is they weren’t so easy to accomplish when pulled in so many directions and with limited time and energy. The weekends for me were spent doing one or two fun activities and then off to wrap up the weekend preparing for the coming work week ahead. I realize that is a part of life and I don’t want to sound like I am complaining. I enjoyed working very much and was passionate about what I did for a living and it saddens me to think that because of my circumstances I could no longer continue doing what I was doing. But I realize now that so much has changed for me, that a big part of my life I spent living at such an accelarated pace. Realistically, managing so much in addition to dealing with a serious illness was unsustainable and inevitably something had to change. 

Dealing with cancer has been scary, inconvenient, full of uncertainty and doubt, but it has also allowed me to get reacquanted with silence and solitude. These states of ‘just being’ are often are misrepresented and really they shouldn’t be. These have been vital for me in helping to restore, recalibrate my soul just as it has been for me to lean on God during this time. This slower pace has allowed me to divorce myself from the need to always be busy. This was not an easy thing to do. The first few weeks I felt like such a stranger to myself, reviewing my daily planner and staring at the blank pages. No projects, no follow-up, no errands, no place to go. Nada. The busyness of my previous life was being exposed and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to accept and work with the new pace and allow God to reintroduce stillness in my life. 

All of this has been the launchpad to a new way of living and this blog has turned out to be the perfect outlet for me to be able to accomplish some of the things I’ve longed to do and to be able to share it with you. I still have so many limitations and unfortunately there are many things I still cannot do, but every week is a new discovery and some things are becoming easier to do. I’ll figure out how to share these with you in the upcoming posts and when the time is right. 

I don’t want to spend too much time discussing my health though, so not all blogs are going to be about managing my disease or symptoms. I am enjoying life and I’d rather share with you how I am going about navigating life despite my circumstances. So if you are reading my posts and I’m spending time with family, cooking, catching up with people, exploring and blogging…know that I am well. As well as can be expected. 

See you soon, with much love. 


Inicio de pati pa'mi

Complete outfit from a thrift shop in Santa Monica...shoes and all!  Photography by: Luvia Castaneda

Complete outfit from a thrift shop in Santa Monica...shoes and all!

Photography by: Luvia Castaneda

Me puse a revisar una lista que escribí (hace tiempo) de cosas que deseaba hacer si tuviese más tiempo libre. Estas eran actividades o pasatiempos que deseaba yo hacer cuando trabajaba tiempo completo. Se me incendio un foco y me puse a pensar que quizás ahora es el tiempo perfecto de atentar ciertas de estas cosas escritas en mi lista. Claro, que no todo lo que escribí en mi lista puedo hacer ahora que vivo mi vida con ciertas limitaciones, pero algunas todavía son posibles y a esas me estoy refiriendo.

Los últimos 20 años de mi vida profesional los dedique trabajando en marketing (mercadeo) con chefs y dueños de restaurantes, diseñadores de cocinas y de productos para la cocina industrial. Aprendí mucho durante estos años, y siempre me divertía supervisando sesiones de fotografía, videos, atendiendo expos (trade shows) de gastronomía, entrevistando a profesionales, apresurada, siguiendo a los chefs por las cocinas para poder conducir mis entrevistas mientras ellos seguían cocinando. Durante estos proyectos, muchas veces deseaba tener más tiempo en mi vida personal para aprender a cocinar mejor y atentar diferentes recetas. Deseaba disfrutar más tiempo preparando comidas para mi familia sin prisa. Un arte, y un placer…como debería de ser. 

Quick Luvia! Take a picture and let's try not to get hit by a car.  Photography by: Luvia Castaneda

Quick Luvia! Take a picture and let's try not to get hit by a car.

Photography by: Luvia Castaneda

UNA VIDA SIN PRISA

Otras de las cosas que escribí en mi lista era poder compartir más tiempo con mis seres queridos y el deseo de poder practicar más mi español, conversar, escribir y pasar más tiempo leyendo libros en español. Suenan como actividades muy simples, pero no lo son cuando nuestras obligaciones exigen mucho de nuestro tiempo y energía. Los fines de semana se nos van quizás divirtiéndonos por solo unas pocas horas y mucho tiempo preparándonos para volver a nuestra rutina el lunes y empezar otra vez de nuevo. Así es la vida, y no todo de esto está mal cuando uno disfruta de lo que hace en su trabajo. A mí siempre me encanto mi trabajo y me entristece a veces pensar que no pude continuar, pero ahora que mi vida ha cambiado tanto, me doy cuenta de que una gran parte de mi vida me la pase viviéndola a alta velocidad. Mi vida era insostenible y algo inevitablemente tenía que cambiar. 

Esta batalla con mi enfermedad ha sido espantosa, llena de incertidumbre y duda, pero también me a permitido reconciliarme con el silencio y la soledad. Estos dos estados en veces son representados en sentido negativo y no debería de hacer así. Los dos son necesarios para restaurar igual también como para mí fue necesario respaldarme en Dios. Esta etapa me ha provocado apartarme del síntoma de querer siempre mantenerme ocupada. Las primeras semanas no me hallaba y me sentía extraña revisando mi agenda viendo que estaba completamente en blanco. El compás apresurado de mi vida anterior estaba siendo expuesta y no había nada que hacer más que aceptar y dejar que Dios reintrodujera la tranquilidad en mi vida. 

Todo esto ha sido el comienzo de una nueva manera de vivir y este blog para me ha resultado ser el outlet perfecto para poder desarrollar esta nueva etapa y compartirlo con ustedes. Todavía tengo muchas limitaciones, y desafortunadamente no puedo hacer mucho, pero con cada semana que pasa, en los días que puedo empiezo poquito a poquito hacer mas. Ya iré decidiendo como compartir esto con ustedes a su debido tiempo. 

Si leen mis posts y estoy compartiendo tiempo con mi familia, cocinando, conversando, paseándome y blogiando…sepan que estoy bien. En lo que cabe. 

Hasta pronto…Con Mucho Cariño